My inner struggle to resist posting this link to the onion was recently lost. As a result, you shall laugh if you haven’t already.

You And Me And Baby Minus Me Makes Two

This weekend I experienced the best night’s sleep of my poorly-executed life. Seriously, nearly 15 hours of shirtless goodness. I thank Gorsage for his part in it. Also, Sneetch has been out, so I’ve been able to split my time between quietness and pilfering his goose porn drawer. And by goose, I mean…darn it, there’s no goose porn. Much like you, it’s all a lie! Good thing I’ve never given NIN a decent listen. I guess that means I’m allowed to post about how much Reznor’s newest album sucks and is a poke in the eye to all his fans. I’d rather just not listen, for now anyway.

I started work on Friday at a job I entirely don’t deserve. My resume seemed to lead them to believe that I practically wrote the MS Access software, and I also seem to have Webmaster status. It’s not entirely false. I’ve seen someone else using Access. And it’s not like I can’t update dank like the back of your sister’s hand. Oh well. I’m screwing them for $13 an hour, which is nearly half of what I normally screw old men for. It’s give and take, my friend, give and take. On Friday I felt really intelligent, because I pretended to know a lot about Photoshop, something I pretend to know better than the homemade craft industry’s dirty underbelly.

Out of boredom and lack of funds, I’ve been messing around with a new background. It’s not even finished, so I don’t know why you’d bother to follow that link, but if you do, woohoo. In order to maintain an environment lacking integrity, some basic rules or “frantic suggestions” are in effect from now until Jesus comes. In order of importance…

1) no using the term “magnum opus”
2) all checks are to made out to “Balibar”
3) no using the term “ballsy experimentation”
4) rule #3 doesn’t apply when referring to sheppo

That’s it for now. Enjoy the week. Anniversary coming up on Tuesday. Wish Pappy well. Be berean to each other. Goodday.

haha, as I told jerome, I have no like of radiohead at all, nor do i consider myself a fan of them at all, and I haven’t nor would i listen to the album, it’s just not my taste. I wanted to see who’d say what, however, and expected disagreement with my statement. Despite my naivete on the subject of radiohead in general, it is still a hotly contested subject amongst most radiohead fans whether kid a is genius or status quo. From what I have seen, it’s not just fringe fans either, as sheppo put it, but hell, who cares, be it genius or nothing new, it’s still by all accounts I’ve read, at least good. A side note, to sheppo, which is better, kid a or the fragile? Another note to the drama queen, when i was asked which Nails album was the best, and criticized for choosing the fragile, you launched into a discussion of which album is the most revolutionary, of which I fully agree that pretty hate machine was utterly groundbreaking more than anything to hit the ground in years, however, considering production values for one, it’s not at all on par with the fragile, or the downward spiral for that matter. The fragile is indeed the next logical step sonically from the downward spiral, and so on, however, it is Trent’s magnum opus, it is the current pinnacle of his talents until the next album comes out. It combines the intense sound and layering from the downward spiral coupled with it’s amazing flow from song to song with the points of brutal rage in broken, with the sheer ballsy experimentation of pretty hate machine. That’s just listing something from each album that progressed, there’s so much more, and hearing the fragile once through the first time- actually hearing it- is akin to opening your eyes the first time upon birth, seeing light and crying out towards whatever future awaits.

All the Dank galleries are temporarily down. This is a direct result of Geocities discontinuing their hotlinking features. See, there are so many bad websites on Geocities, and so many stupid people linking their forum signatures and such from their free accounts on their servers, Geocities has finally caught sight of their bandwidth limits. Since Dank moved to our new host, I’ve been planning on transferring the galleries, and now it looks like I need to take care of that along with the update early next week. So in conclusion, don’t fear, when the new galleries are added next week, I’ll get all the other images moved over and everyone will be pleased again. Don’t be mad at me, I clearly love you.

While I have nothing but sincere respect for Gorsage and his opinions on a variety of topical and compelling subjects, (specifically the delightfully low cost of discontinued video gaming devices and our shared belief in the beauty and wonderment of Wrigley Field) I must take issue with his 2.22.01 statements concerning Radiohead.

First off, ‘Pablo Honey’ is by far the least attractive Radiohead option, though it is still of some atavistic value. Furthermore, to call this year’s Grammy winning Radiohead effort a “slap in the face” to Radiohead fans is assuredly a bit nearsighted, considering the overwhelming amount of fan support for the album. It recently turned platinum despite the noticeable lack of singles, videos, promotionals, US tours, and advertisements. Certainly, a considerable number of copies of a non-hyped, top selling album must have been purchased by fans. Radiohead fans are known for computer savvyness, and the band in question made no secret of the complete posting of the album on Napster. Ergo, it stands to reason that fans who purchased the album were more than familiar with the content, and nevertheless spent 15 bucks to buy it.

As a Radiohead fan, I have been absolutely enthralled with the wonderfully creative multi-textured sounds found on the concept album ‘Kid A’. Furthermore, I applaud Radiohead for taking a sizable risk in releasing the album prior to the release of ‘Amnesiac’, an LP recorded at the same time as ‘Kid A’, and reportedly much more listener friendly. If ‘Kid A’ pushes away some borderline fans, fine. So did ‘OK Computer’. If Radiohead only worked to please the multitudes (i.e. Dave Matthews) then the very creativity that made them so wonderfully aesthetically pleasing would cease to exist, the oceans would dry up, and contemporary post-modern life as we now know it would be much less entertaining.

You should buy a dreamcast, they’re now only about 100 bucks, which is much more than the totality of most people’s lives are worth. Also, Kid A, Radiohead’s most recent album, is a vastly overrated and overall lackluster effort by one of the most intriguing bands out there. Compare it to anything else they’ve ever done and it’s like a slap in the face of their fans.

Someone should finish Dank04, slice it up and upload it for me, cause I’m just not getting the job done. I resolve to either have it up and running by Tuesday night or to start putting up new content while slowly changing the look. One of the other must happen soon or I will set Dank and perhaps the entire internet ablaze, and likely burn myself doing it, since I can’t even seem to cook a frozen pizza without coming away with second-degree burns.

While you’re waiting for initiative to be stumbled upon, The Semi Automatic Turban Website offers everything this site is lacking lately. Be sure to download some of their thought-provoking mp3s and check out the affectionately named “Fanfun” section. The Semi Automatic Turbans keep their fans updated:

12 December 00 - As many promise we now have internet official web so make home you. Spread those feet! We apologize for negative URL but an offer of free I-drive is nothing to sneeze. Now a bit of new informations: We have released new song in cooperation with famous electronic europe man DJ Mall DJ! Click upon this links for transport to download and listening. Must! Yes!

I don’t think you need any more selling. Move on over to the microcosm of the internet, The Semi Automatic Turban Website!

I’m getting really tired of movies in which Joe Pesci plays an unsophisticated loudmouth who gets into really stupid situations where we are supposed to feel him. Yes, I said feel him. Take that for what it’s worth, which isn’t much. I used to go fishing a lot in junior high, and perhaps in an attempt to make up for her idiocy and lack of judgement over the past 9 months my mom bought me the movie Gone Fishin’ this last Christmas. The humor-absent comedy won a couple awards I just made up for this post, including: “Film Most Likely to Cause Empty Seats in Theaters (FMLTCESITT),” and “Default Worst Movie of Year Because Danny Glover Is in It (DWMOYBDGIII).” This movie is hardly worth being made fun of. It isn’t worthy of being seen even for the express reason of ridiculing it. Speaking of ridicule…

Anyone watch the giant game of grab-ass known as the Grammys yesterday? Steely Dan won album of the year. Have I gone deaf, blind, and dumb? While you’re thinking of a witty response for that, ponder this. Wait, there’s nothing to ponder, except that Steely Dan shouldn’t be allowed within a hundred miles of a grammy. Especially when Radiohead’s Kid A is an option, among other things. Oh well. It was amusing to watch people try to read the teleprompter. Sheryl Crow proved hands down that she has never seen a book in her life. The only book she’ll see in the future is the one that has left my hand and is traveling at a great speed towards her forehead. Eat a boiled egg, Eustace!

Yes, this has been seriously crappy. The next time we talk about a Grammy it won’t involve an award for any type of music. You know what I mean, Hettie. Thanks IDQ for being the Simon to my Garfunkle. I’m out like last night’s dinner. Be Italian to each other. Goodday.

I have something I need to confess. I know 2 people named Marvin, and yes, one of them is my uncle. The other Marvin has a brother named Melvin. I can’t apologize enough for providing you with this information. I bought a big jar of sauerkraut the other day. Hmm. I obviously haven’t thought of a darn thing to write about since Jerome’s mental absence, so I’ll try to make all of this as painless as possible.

Have you ever known someone who is completely over-enthusiastic about something trivial and/or stupid? I sure have. This would have more comic effect if I hadn’t ever known someone like that, or maybe if I hadn’t posted at all. Nevertheless. I’ve been a freak in the past about some things. Like frisbee at lunch for instance. It used to make me really mad when no one else wanted to play. Snow? Rain? Screw the weather. I want to throw a plastic disc in Gorsage’s general direction. This guy Don is completely obsessed with playing football, to the point that in the last month he has purchased a helmet, jersey, and plastic mouthpiece (like the kind your ugly sister wears). Last Saturday Sneetch and I witnessed Don put on all of his gear and giggle like a little girl. “Sad” wouldn’t be the wrong adjective for it.

Cabbage, salt, and water. Those are the ingredients of sauerkraut on the side of the jar. What? Is George Washington Carver up to his old tricks again? That meddling fool! Anyone can make their own sauerkraut. Of course it would be even more disgusting than the store-bought version, but you can’t put a price on homemade love! Your mom has proven that time and again. I assure you in a couple days I’ll have something worthy to post. Be implied to each other. Goodday.

Whatup y’all. Well, Dank is officially a white-box website. Being generic is very post-punk-prog-techie hip though. I would like to offer up the following: my congratulations to Jerome, who has single handedly done absolutely nothing; My eulogy for Adam, who is apparently dead; My pity for Takey who lives in Indiana (we’re pullin’ for you bro); My complete lack of feelings of any sort for the rest of humanity. Other than that, I’m boutsta be up out like I’m on Delta. Take off those knee-pads… it’s just not as romantic that way.